What You, The Bachelor, and Katy Perry Have in Common

Photo by Thaïs Prieur-Blanc from Pexels

Holy crap. In the words of Ruth Langmore, I don’t know $hIt about fv€k.

March 21, 2022, makes 3 months since I said I was committing to doing 3 things every day: 1) meditating, 2) journaling, and 3) gratitude-ing. That’s 12 weeks, or 84 days. Turns out I’ve journaled and gratituded 31 days. I probably meditated about the same, give or take. No wonder I still feel like shit. HA.

I didn’t even make the halfway mark. Whatever. I’m not quitting. Mainly because it’s the only thing I’ve got to keep some semblance of sanity right now. I am strugglin’ like a mofo.

I’m struggling, and, as I mentioned in my last story, I just found out recently I am not being promoted to senior level for my role. No bueno.

It’s just downright disheartening when I’m in a situation I really don’t like but I can’t do anything about it. When it comes to my job, right now, I have no choice but to accept the shit sandwich I’ve been served.

And for anyone who wants to offer career advice? I appreciate you but I’m no spring chicken so this ain’t my first shit sandwich. I either need a new manager or a new job. As choices go, that ain’t real much. So.

Photo by Thaïs Prieur-Blanc from Pexels

I’ve also been writing on Medium for 12 weeks. I’m reasonably proud to say I have 67 wonderful followers — thank you, followers! That’s about 5.5 followers per week. Not too shabby for a non-senior-level, middle-aged woman.

If I can entertain, enlighten, or inform readers well enough to attract 5 new followers per day for the next 7 days I could reach the much sought-after 100 club in just 1 week. And how do I plan to do that?

I’m going to try writing one of those list thingies everybody seems to love. Right here. I’m not even putting a NUMBER in the title of this story. Enjoy!

The Top 10 to 20 Things That Drain the Life Right Outta My Soul and Make Me Want to Kick People in the Crotch

  1. Vocal fryyyyyyyyy.
  2. People who ride my ass in traffic. I will slam on my brakes, pull over, simultaneously flip you off and death-glare you as you drive by thinking you’re baller. And THEN I will pull right back out behind you and ride. your. ass. for. days.
  3. Fake, fakeness, fakery. It’s the new mom who says her baby slept through the night at 1 week old. It’s your brother-in-law that — whatever you did — he did it better, faster, longer and won an award for it. It’s your boss who tells employees their jobs won’t be affected by a merger.
  4. This should go without saying but … stop telling me to smile, asking me what’s wrong, or telling me to give it up to the Lord.
  5. Anyone who watches The Bachelor or The Bachelorette and wants to talk about it at work. In an open work space. While you’re trying to do actual work. I’m looking at you, Stephanie.
  6. People who say “I love you,” like it’s true when it’s actually not.
  7. You cannot be and do and eat and wear and watch and hear and read and visit all of the latest jobs, activities, diets, fashion, shows, bands, books, and places. You just can’t. And if you do manage to, you are trying way too hard and you need to go to therapy.
  8. I love women who respect women. Can I just tell you? I watched a pregnant woman audition on American Idol. Pregnant. And Katy Perry advocated for her and pushed her to “fight” for her spot. And she does that for women all the time. In a pure, honest, loving, and kind way. Beautiful. (Please note: This is a thing I don’t hate.)
  9. Corporate executives who say their company is like a family. First of all, I’ve worked with my family so NO. Second, do you really think employees believe that crap? Like we don’t know that as soon as the bottom line takes a hit, anyone who is not C-suite is expendable?
  10. Not knowing. I struggle so much with this. One minute, I believe in myself based on what I think I know. And then someone tells me I’m wrong and everything goes sideways.
  11. That word that starts with M. Rhymes with joist.
  12. The way Andie McDowell says the word “poetry” in “Groundhog Day.”
  13. People who say something is ironic when what they really mean is it’s coincidental. Read “The Gift of the Magi,” people!
  14. Loud mufflers. If you have a vehicle with a purposely loud muffler, you need to know that those mufflers startle and frighten babies and small children so much that it makes them cry. It’s almost violent how frightening it is for them. Think about that.
  15. Whoever established the 5-day, 40-hour work week. Two days is not enough time off. It’s just not. And while we’re at it, we should talk about what a reasonable profit margin looks like.
  16. I’ll let you in on a secret. I don’t hate people. I know, I know, I have a shirt that says “I Hate People,” but it’s all a front. What I really hate is that people — me, you, Stephanie, your boss, my brother-in-law — sometimes struggle. Life is hard, for all of us. So sometimes, each and everyone of us will be on somebody’s “I Hate People” list. But on any given day, we could also be on a “People I Love” list.

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